June 11, 2010 | By: Tracy

Feeling Stressed

I know we all have extremely busy lives, so please don't take this as me selfishly whining and thinking I'm the only one who's struggling... I just need somewhere to vent. That's all.

I am really not doing very well  suck with keeping up on all the balls I'm juggling in my life, at the current moment.

I adore my new job, and I'm very happy with what I'm doing (not to mention the paycheck I'm making). That being said, it isn't my DREAM JOB. That distinction is still reserved for being a full-time author (or Towel Girl in the Orioles locker room -- though I think my chances on the first are better). So while I'm happy with my job - and I realize it's still early & I'm learning to adjust - I'm getting a little concerned with my lack of writing time lately.

Though, I can't blame the new job in its entirety. The Orioles - or more importantly, my season tickets - are taking up a good chunk of my time as well. It's really hard to squeeze any writing whatsoever in between the time I get home from work & have to head out to the ballpark. So the weeks when they are in town I'm getting zero accomplished!!

This past weekend, for instance, I got started on some GREAT revisions on the manuscript I've been shopping around. But that wonderful feeling of  "Wow, I'm making it even better" came to a screeching halt once Monday hit. (I've been praying for a rain-out, but no such luck).

It's not just the physical writing that is suffering right now. It's EVERYTHING about this portion of my life.
- I'm not being a very good blogger buddy to most of the blogs I normally love to read.
- I haven't been to Nathan's blog/MB in so long I'm afraid I've forgotten the way.
- And I haven't even looked at revising my query letter again yet.

Somebody do me a favor and tell me I'll be able to figure it out eventually and not have to drive myself crazy EVERY day. Tell me this is a very normal part of the life we're all trying to accomplish for ourselves. Because right now I'm stressing ... I'm not giving up on anything, mind you ... but I'm stressing. Big. Time.

8 witty remarks:

Jessica Bell said...

You'll be alright. Don't stress about blogs! Sheesh. We should be the last thing on your list of priorities! Set one evening per week to nip round your fav blogs, it's all you need.

RE your writing, well, I know how you feel. I'm in the same boat. My job takes up so much time. I work 9-10 hours everyday, then jump on blogs. It looks like day time to you in US but here it's night. I only write on the weekends - unfortunately, becasue after working all day, I only have energy for a bit of blog hopping. Can't get the creative spirit flowing when I'm tired.

Do what you have to do and it'll all fall into place at some point. I know that's not being much help, but, seriously, don't stress over something you can't control. Go where the current takes you.

Terry Towery said...

Jessica's right. Do what you have to do right now and don't worry about anything else. Writing and working on your novel should come before blogging - but we all know that's easy to say and hard to do.

Personally, my real life has also blown up lately (in a good way, I suppose) and I haven't been able to write and blog as much as I would like. But I know it will come, for me and for YOU.

So take it easy on yourself and enjoy baseball. It's one of the few true pleasures in life that is always there when you need it. :)

lexcade said...

you need to read elana johnson's blog about giving yourself permission NOT to do something. writers we are, but writing is not everything we MUST do. it's a passion, a dream, a hope, but it isn't our daily lives, and we can't let it define us. it's a part of us, along with our responsibilities and our biological need to take a break from said responsibilities. don't hate yourself for not obsessing because obsessing is unhealthy *pot calling the kettle black, but still*, and it takes the fun out of what we really love to do. so see this time as a reward for all the hard work you've put in thus far and take a breather. it's okay. promise :)

Matthew MacNish said...

First of all Tracy I find it important to have a day job for paying the bills and such and though I do hate it, I also understand and appreciate the income.

That being said I feel you. I hold no season tickets and your dedication to the Orioles is certainly commendable but as an artist please trust that YOU WILL FIND THE TIME TO WRITE.

You have to. If you don't perhaps it wasn't meant to be. Personally I think it was for you and you will make it work but be sure to keep us up to date because if you ever need encouragement we are here.

You and Justine are my two very first blogging/writing buddies online so remember that I'm here for you and will do just about anything if you ever need it.

Best of luck with all you do!

Saumya said...

Heyy! First of all, you are a good blogging buddy! Second, it's okay to be at your "not dream" job. So many writers have another job to provide income. It's great that you have something (baseball) that you truly love!!

Anonymous said...

There, there, Tracy. First, good for you for ranting. Letting off steam is going to help. Second, we all have to make a living. A lot of times we need to learn to balance that with what we may really want to do, in your case write. And that can take time. Prioritize. If going to ball games is your priority, for what ever reason, surely don't beat yourself up about it. Not saying you are. Next, find time to write and think about writing in different ways than when you had more time. Like take a notebook to the ballpark, and jot in it while waiting for the inning to start. Hey, maybe you'll come up with a baseball themed story! Good luck, we're pulling for you!

Quill at the forums.

Lindsay Smith said...

Your frustration is so understandable, and it's so easy to blame yourself and put yourself down about it. But look for tiny ways to keep your brain solving your writing issues, even when you're doing something else. For instance, my dad was in DC visiting me all this last week, and I get next to NO writing done. But I did TONS of work on my story. On Metro rides I stewed over some of the structural suggestions my critique buddy had made. While listening to tour guides drone on about stuff I already knew all about, I plotted interesting twists to put into sagging chapters. If you're going to the Orioles game by yourself, bring a notepad! Jot down some free writing or story thoughts during the TV breaks or the 7th inning stretch! This goes double for endless work meetings--an art I have mastered...

Lola Sharp said...

Dude, wait until you have kids!

There are ebbs and flows to writing. (too bad that baseball season is SO LONG ;)

BTW, I kinda heart Dimitri too. ;)
(I don't read much YA, but I did enjoy this series, and him.)

Love,
Lola

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