I've decided not to post it on another forum like Nathan's . Not as any sort of slight to their good advice, because I look back at my first query letter -- the one I sent out to four agents -- and cringe. But in a place that big, with so many differing opinions,I'll never get to a point where everyone agrees. Now that I think I'm close I would rather keep the suggestions coming from a smaller group of people. That way I don't get too much conflicting information.
So for you guys, if you like GREAT!!! If you see problems with it, or there is clunky writing that I'm missing (the whole forest through the trees thing) don't be nervous about telling me. Overall, I think I've finally narrowed the story down to its base capturing point & I want to see if I did it well enough.
Its a paranormal romance, btw and I'm only tossing the pitch out here for blog purposes.
Every twenty-three years, Anna Rodwen embarks on a new search to find the only man she's ever loved -- a pattern she's been forced to repeat for five centuries.
From the moment he stole her heart, Anna would do anything for Thomas Rodwen. When a fatal illness sweeps through Tudor England threatening to take his life, she resorts to using a magic she doesn't understand in order to save him. A mistake on her part leaves him with an eternal existence far different than her own. Anna never dies. Thomas never lives a life past the age of twenty-three. Their past is something she can never forget and he can never remember, yet they fall in love time and again.
Now for the first time in five hundred years, Anna is unable to find Thomas. She fears a break in their long standing pattern may signal the end of his existence. With his current lifetime set to expire, she must find him by the end of the night or face the possibility of losing him forever.