Bueller? ... Bueller? ... Bueller?

I completely missed out on the blogging "roll call" this week, and I'm soooo far behind I won't attempt to get caught up, because it will never happen. For those who've left awards for me (figures, I get more of those suckers when I'm not around!!)  I'll definitely be sure to get around and check them out before the weekend is through. And even though I don't know what they are yet -- Thank You!!

It was a crazy, emotional week (hence the reason for my vacantness). Not all good. Not all bad. Just a highly draining rollercoaster ride these last 7 days. BUT I think I've got myself back on a bit of an even keel  -- for now, at least.


Quest for Publication Update :  The agent who requested my partial ultimately decided to pass on requesting the full. 


She was complimentary. She thought the idea was marketable and well-written, but the dreaded "I just didn't fall in love with it" reasoning won out in the end. 


Is it a bummer? Of course it is, but I don't feel crushed ... as much as confused, I guess.I choose to look at the positives first. 


1) This agent is one of the bigger names out there, and she's constantly swamped with queries. Simply having her request a partial, means I got farther than 95% of those who submit to her.


2) She responded to both my query and my requested partial super quick --- less than 24 hours on the query, and less than 3 weeks on the partial. Both of those response times were well under her stated "expected" times. 


So I do believe I have something there on the marketability side, she just wasn't overwhelmed by my writing style. That's how I'm choosing to look at it, so shhhh, don't try to talk me out of my delusions.


The only thing that leaves me feeling kinda unsettled -- and I know I'm not alone in this boat -- is the fact that she didn't "fall in love with it". 


Understandably, most agents are far too busy to read full submissions for all the story ideas that intrigue them. They truly are doing the best they can! They're in the business to make money, so they ARE on the lookout for the next best selling author, because it is in their best interest too. 


But it is extremely difficult (and I'm saying this as a reader, not just a writer) to find a book/manuscript that makes a person fall in love from the first chapter -- or even three -- alone. 


Just for my own curiosity I did a mental checklist in my head of a bunch of my most favorite books, and I can honestly say that I didn't fall in love with any of them THAT early on.  I found them interesting . . .  or funny . . . or  entertaining . . .  or there was a character I wanted to know more about, etc. Not once however, did I know I was in LOVE with the story until I'd gotten at least 100 pages in.  I've only devoured, in one sitting, books that were further along in a series -- never the first one.


So, I think now I really understand, it IS an uphill battle to find an agent who connects with your story and wants to read enough of it to get TO the falling in love point. It's a necessary challenge, but a tricky one that sometimes requires nothing more than luck.


With that said: I'm going to try my best not to stress out over the things I have no control over!!


That doesn't mean that I haven't already had -- or won't still continue to have -- those moments of crippling self doubt when it comes to the world of publishing and my eventual place in it. I've just come to realize that I will suck all the fun out of this whole journey if I allow myself to live and die with every request and/or rejection. Being a writer is a marathon-type lifestyle. I'll burn out if I try to tackle it at a sprinter's speed.


Okay, I'm done being all philosophical and introspective. Next week I start my new job, so bare with me if I'm still a little erratic, until I get accustomed to my new schedule!


For now, let's party and have a wicked-awesome weekend, shall we?!?